an unexpected turn

i don't know if i posted about it before but JD and i have been planning a home birth since we found out we were expecting this little man.

we decided on a home birth for many reasons (most of which i won't get into here because this post isn't about the hospital vs. home birth debate)... to some of you i imagine this sounds crazy but to us it was the most comforting and least scary of options.  we did our research, were well informed, and were looking forward to bringing our new little baby into this world in our home, where we feel most comfortable.  there was going to be no rushing to the hospital, no forms, no staff, and yes, no drugs.  we have been attending a home birth class with the mother of all doulas Penny Simkin and have been preparing for our chosen path.

that was until this week... my blood pressure is still up which puts us at a place where we are more than likely going to risk out of our home birth option... we will have to deliver in a hospital.  for us this is a major game changer and a dramatic switch to our thinking.  i have been pretty upset about it for the past few days and am trying to come to terms with this new picture in which our baby will be born.

we are headed to the hospital tomorrow morning for some more testing to see if we are dealing with anything more critical than hypertension.  i pray that all the tests come back negative and that we are only dealing with a minor health problem.  they will make sure that the little bean is doing well... (as i type right now he has the hiccups.!)

i know that home birth might not be "the option" for all of you.... and i am only happy to do anything that will keep my little boy safe and happy.  but i too need a bit of time to grieve for the labor and delivery we wanted to have and now won't.  i'm not good at radical changes so finding out that we will now be doing a hospital birth weeks in advance is probably for the best.  this way i'll be able to put my thoughts to how i want our hospital labor and birth to go.

i'll let you know how things go... in the mean time keep us in your thoughts.

xoxo,
wren